Emo Backwards

Today is Friday. Karl usually goes out to lunch on Fridays so I figured when my friend called it was also okay for me to go out again. We went to the sushi restaurant. You might think sushi is risky in a tiny town too far from the coast but it is actually quite good. Sushi has become so mainstream that even truckers with those girls on their mudflaps eat it. We had a good meal and we tried to solve the thieving in the locker room at the high school problem but of course we didn't. I maintain that we should expect and demand that people be honest and she maintains the kids should just lock their locker more carefully.

This morning Cooper crawled up on my chest for his morning nap. Tiny little cuddly dog has a way of endearing himself no matter what. They did get their long walks and they returned home safely. Now they are napping. Good dogs and children take naps when Mom is on the computer!

Of course Erik is in a band. As I was walking the dogs today I was thinking about that joke, "What do you get when you play a country song backwards..." So what do you get when you play an emo song backwards...Your Mom lets you stay in your room forever, all the girls in school love you, and Spanish doesn't suck.

Karl is going for a new biopsy of a new spot today. Always worrisome. I thought that was a great picture of Karl and my niece Lara so I included it in today's blog. Also the picture of Lara and Erik is good. On the last night we were at the lake Lara and Erik went fishing on the dock. Lara caught nine fish one after another. You always want Erik on your team when you are fishing. Erik has spent the last three summers teaching fishing camp at the nature center. He's very popular with the kids for good reason. When you click on the pictures they do get bigger and you can actually see them!

Tiny Violins

Well instead of "Elmo" days at our house we have "Emo days as in everyone is soooo sad. And everything totally Sucks! You know the scenario, "How was School?" "It sucked." "I hate all my teachers." "Spanish sucks." "Not one kid in my English class can actually read. It sucks."" The lunch line is too long". "Canoes suck". Today was one of those days. Tiny violins all afternoon.

Later on I was watching some fashion designers on TV and there happened to be a Russian guy on the show. I realized Russians are the ultimate "Emo" people. Remember how they had to ban dying on the ice in figure skating a couple of years ago because the Russians kept skating to gloomy music and then laying on the ice. Sesame street is really grey and gloomy in Russia because they aren't comfortable with the more colorful version we are used to. Imagine what happens then when you ask a Russian teenager how school was? No. wait. Let's not go there...

We had "emo" children and crazy ass dogs. Cooper believes we have hidden his favorite toy on the bookcase. Why he believes this we do not know but he does. Every night when we sit down he whines at the bookcase. Incessantly. We have tried picking him up and showing that there is nothing there to no avail. We started hiding things up there but that was a very bad idea. Nothing we do will convince him his koala isn't up there. Tomorrow I think I will take him for a very long walk...

Hamster Wheels

Today was the school superintendent's round table meeting. Once a month he goes out in the community to try and generate good rapport. The "Lunch Moms" usually go as we did today.
one of us is on the school board so she has other reasons to go.

Before the meeting we went to the gym. Sigh. The gym is sooooo boring. I forgot my mp3 player in the van so I had to listen to whatever hateful stuff was spewing out of the talk radio on the ceiling. I like to get my exercise actually outside walking, hiking, kayaking, or gardening. That was easier to do when we lived in Albuquerque. Riding on a little machine like a neurotic hamster seems like some bad sci-fi movie where everyone does weird things because the world has been taken over by robots. And getting naked in the locker room isn't quite the same as when I was 30.

The meeting went well. I guess. The same old story, "Well we would love to do that except the teacher's union would file a grievance." Our local teacher's union has really made me question unions. In this case there seems to be a conflict of interest. Much corruption and a quest for power. A necessary evil I guess. But I wish just once it was actually about educating the kids.

Math and Division

This morning Inga was telling me about a t-shirt she had seen at camp that has the symbol Pi saying "Get Real" to the square root of minus 1 ( which is apparently denotes an imaginary number). The imaginary number answers, "Be Rational". She wanted that t-shirt. Being a supportive parent of geeky children of course I tracked it down and ordered it. ( Maybe the word is not supportive but indulgent?) Anyway I thought it was funny so I ordered it. Well, I thought it was funny after it was explained to me! I ordered it along with the one which had the moon telling Pluto, "Don't feel bad I'm not a planet either!" Inga wears her geeky t-shirts proudly and she backs that up by clomping around in combat boots which are pretty hard on flip -flop wearers.

The thing about this election that is difficult for me is that way it is hammering home how divided we have become in this country. Of course I too feel strongly about "the issues" and the election but more and more I keep it to myself because I don't want to know how the people I am eating lunch with feel. It is much easier at this point to be friends and eat lunch happily when you don't know where they stand. "Embracing Diversity" only works when you have someone to hug.

Rita's Rocks!

A new ice cream store opened in our tiny little hamlet. For us that is a wondrous event. It is an Italian ice/custard chain based in Philadelphia, Rita's. It just so happens we were in Philly not too long ago and we ate at Rita's so we were already familiar with their yumminess. All week long the Italian ice is free so I've been twice today. Passion Fruit the first time and Key Lime the second. Inga is lactose intolerant so having a place to get a treat she can actually eat is doubly exciting.

We stopped at Rita's after the meeting about a high school trip to London/Paris over Spring Break. None of Inga's buddies are going so I think she is going to pass and instead try to get accepted into the Japanese exchange program which is also over spring break. We had two kids from the program stay with us when Inga was in seventh grade. It would be great if she could see those same kids four years later. So many opportunities kids have today that never existed when I was in school!

My Heart Bleeds

Yesterday I met two friends at Target at 2pm. Our mission for the day was to create a basket for our friend who was recently diagnosed with stage-four throat cancer. We tried to find light hearted things and orange things. Things that might be comforting in the hospital. We bought two detective novels, a book called "Eat, Pray, Love", orange and black striped furry socks, a tiger striped Magna sketch board, 27 Dresses on DVD, Friday Night Lights on DVD, Mentos, a set of candles, a soft Halloween afghan, lotion, and one Halloween takeout box of shortbread cookies. I made the cookies in the morning. Shortbread with butterfly stamps.

After all of that shopping the three of us were pretty tired so we went to see the year's worst movie, "The Women". As I was watching it I kept thinking, "Boy this is a really long movie". Always a bad sign. A chick flick that was not funny. Yawn.

We found a basket at Micheal's and made it up on the tailgate. Covered it in a giant basket bag and a bow. Then we debated about the best way to get it to her. None of us wanted bother her and we didn't really know how she was doing. I was voting for "Ding Dong Ditch" for a while. Since none of us is 10 years old that was out of the question so we all straightened out our backbones and drove up the hill. It turns out she was out so we ditched the basket with her son and fled.

It was now 7pm so we all went to dinner. As we were eating our friend called and came down to join us. She loved the basket. She starts Chemo and radiation on Tuesday in NYC. She has one son still at home. He is in between Inga and Erik's age. She never smoked. Her cancer is most likely the result of the HPV virus. She never suspected and didn't go to the doctor for about eight months after symptoms appeared, partly because she doesn't like her primary care doctor. (Does anyone? Not around here!) Her treatment has already started with the insertion of a feeding tube. She has trouble swallowing and breathing. It is going to be a long six months. My heart bleeds for her.

This has not been a good year for us in terms of friends and family members being diagnosed with cancer. Maybe it is our age.

Unique Books of the Year (Or Recent History )

Here is a list of books I have read recently that I think have a unique point of view or tell I story I just haven't read before. Maybe some of you folks out there in blogland will give me some suggestions. Pretty Please!

The Golden Spruce

The Icarus Girl

Intuition

A Short History of the Tractor in Ukrainia

Tales of the Otori ( Series)

March

The Thirteenth Tale

The Number 1 Ladies Detective Agency ( Series)


On the subject of lists Inga and Erik have a new ongoing funny list story. The superintendent of our schools has decided that each classroom in our district should display a poster of"150 ways to Show a Child you Care". This includes the High School. Well, the quickest ways to inspire rebellion among a large group of teachers seems to be to require that they do something. They just don't want to be "bossed". And well some things on the list sound pretty funny when you apply them to High School teachers and their students. Play outside together, tape record a message for them, share a meal together...share a secret... predictably Erik's history teacher has something to say about this poster. " Ladies and Gentlemen behold the poster of "150 ways to be a pedophile" An art teacher is going through the list and trying one thing every day. Friday she was giving out Dixie cups of juice to all her students. A couple of kids from history class had to borrow something from the art room when they returned they raised their hand and said, May we please have juice too?" I am sure they used their best "please" and "thank you voices!"

Notice them.
Smile a lot.
Acknowledge them.
Learn their names.
Seek them out.
Remember their birthday.
Ask them about themselves
Look in their eyes when you talk to them.
Listen to them.
Play with them.
Read aloud together.
Giggle together.
Be nice.
Say yes a lot.
Tell them their feelings are okay.
Set boundaries that keep them safe.
Be honest.
Be yourself.
Listen to their stories.
Hug them.
Forget your worries sometimes and concentrate only on them.
Notice when they're acting differently.
Present options when they seek your counsel.
Play outside together.
Surprise them.
Stay with them when they're afraid.
Invite them over for juice.
Suggest better behaviors when they act out.
Feed them when they're hungry.
Delight in their discoveries.
Share their excitement.
Send them a letter or postcard.
Follow them when they lead.
Notice when they're absent.
Call them to say hello.
Hide surprises for them to find.
Give them space when they need it.
Contribute to their collections.
Discuss their dreams and nightmares.
Laugh at their jokes.
Be relaxed.
Kneel, squat, or sit so you're at their eye level.
Answer their questions.
Tell them how terrific they are.
Create a tradition with them and keep it.
Learn what they have to teach.
Use your ears more than your mouth.
Make yourself available.
Show up at their concerts, games, and events.
Find a common interest.
Hold hands during a walk.
Apologize when you've done something wrong.
Listen to their favorite music with them.
Keep the promises you make.
Wave and smile when you part.
Display their artwork in your home.
Thank them.
Point out what you like about them.
Clip magazine pictures or articles that interest them.
Give them lots of compliments.
Catch them doing something right.
Encourage win-win solutions.
Give them your undivided attention.
Ask for their opinion.
Have fun together.
Be curious with them.
Introduce them to your friends and family.
Tell them how much you like being with them.
Let them solve most of their own problems.
Meet their friends.
Meet their parents.
Let them tell you how they feel.
Help them become an expert at something.
Be excited when you see them.
Tell them about yourself.
Let them act their age.
Praise more; criticize less.
Be consistent.
Admit when you make a mistake.
Enjoy your time together.
Give them a special nickname.
Marvel at what they can do.
Tell them how proud you are of them.
Pamper them.
Unwind together.
Be happy.
Ask them to help you.
Support them.
Applaud their successes.
Deal with problems and conflicts while they're still small.
Chaperone a dance.
Tell them stories in which they are the hero.
Believe in them.
Nurture them with good food.
Be flexible.
Delight in their uniqueness.
Let them make mistakes.
Notice when they grow.
Wave and honk when you drive by them.
Give them immediate feedback.
Include them in conversations.
Respect them.
Join in their adventures.
Visit their schools.
Help them learn something new.
Be understanding when they have a difficult day.
Give them good choices.
Respect the choices they make.
Be silly together.
Hang out together.
Make time.
Inspire their creativity.
Accept them as they are.
Become their advocate.
Appreciate their personality.
Talk openly with them.
Tolerate their interruptions.
Trust them.
Share a secret.
Write a chalk message on their sidewalk.
Create a safe, open environment.
Be available.
Cheer their accomplishments.
Encourage them to help others.
Tackle new tasks together.
Believe what they say.
Help them take a stand and stand with them.
Daydream with them.
Do what they like to do.
Make decisions together.
Magnify their magnificence.
Build something together.
Encourage them to think big.
Celebrate their firsts and lasts, such as the first day of school.
Go places together.
Welcome their suggestions.
Visit them when they're sick.
Tape record a message for them.
Help them learn from mistakes.
Be sincere.
Introduce them to people of excellence.
Tell them what you expect of them.
Give them your phone number.
Introduce them to new experiences.
Share a meal together.
Talk directly together.
Be spontaneous.
Expect their best; don't expect perfection.
Empower them to help and be themselves.
Love them, no matter what.